California Dreamin' with a CPAP

AHHHH!!!! Someone slow the time down, please! There are officially 40 days left until Idaho. I'm getting into countdown mode, and trying to make sure we have everything in place. And yes, that includes anxiety medication! I started taking Zoloft again a few weeks ago to help with the anxiety/depression and also to keep me calm during this move, and in learning a new job and dealing with all the changes out in Idaho. It's helped me a lot. I haven't had any panic attacks for several weeks now.

The anxiety medication also helped cause I had to have ALL 4 of my wisdom teeth removed a week ago! I wasn't really nervous for the procedure, but more for the IV :) Everything went great though...they gave me a IV anesthetic, but didn't put me out all the way since I have sleep apnea, so I was awake during the whole thing (although drugged up enough that all I really remember is him telling me he was done! I don't remember him being in my mouth at all!). He also gave me a local anesthetic in my mouth to numb it up. The only incident we had was when they called Ryan in to the room to get me, and they started explaining to him how to change my gauze in my mouth, he got REALLY dizzy :) He said he started thinking about HIS experience with getting his teeth removed, and remembered all the blood that came out when he went to change his gauze...the thought made him weak in the knees! He told the nurses he didn't feel so good, so they took him to the other room. As he was headed for a chair, he blacked out and fell to his knees right in front of the chair. He came to quickly, and was trying to remember what he was doing...."oh yeah, I was going to sit in the chair". :) I was in the other room all by myself as all the nurses rushed in there with him. I heard them yell out for the doctor, but didn't know what was going on. The nurses came back in with me and asked me who was going to drive us both home now :) They gave Ryan a Slim-Fast Shake, and eventually he made it back into my room, a little more embarrassed :) Poor Ryan. But we got home, and he helped me all weekend with getting my prescriptions filled, buying me food and juice, and helping take my medicine, etc. He was a great help...I love him. My recovery was pretty easy...a swollen face, and some pain in my jaw, but nothing horrible. It was all very tolerable. Overall, I don't know why I put it off so long...I always envision things being worse than they really are. How could I complain about this situation? I had good drugs, a cute doctor, no pain, hardly any blood, and no infections afterward. That was a successful procedure :)



The other inquired about topic by some of you....how goes it with my CPAP? Well....as you know, the first several weeks I really wanted to throw it out just to get some sleep! Here was this thing that was supposed to make you feel refreshed in the morning, but instead, I was even MORE tired from the lack of being able to sleep with something different on my face! I really was scared that it would never get better, despite most peoples warnings that it took up to a month or more to get used to it. HOWEVER, I'm so glad I didn't give up on it (I really was determined to make it work) cause I'm here to tell you that I have officially become inaugurated into the CPAP Hall of Fame. I'm a life long user. I am used to sleeping with it now, and can fall asleep right away like I used to. I sleep through the WHOLE night with it, besides one or two wake ups, but I immediately fall back to sleep. I used to wake up every other hour or so when I first started wearing it. But now, I NEED my CPAP to fall asleep and I have dreams ALL NIGHT LONG! Having Sleep Apnea, I used to always wake myself up before I got into the deep REM sleep cause I would stop breathing, so your body wakes itself up just a little bit to get oxygen again...so I hardly EVER had dreams before :) And the even BETTER part? I don't snore. That's right, Pam no longer sounds like a growling bear (per Ryan), and in return, Ryan sleeps better, too :) I now wake up, and can focus at work. I don't have the fogginess that I used to, where it took people repeating things several times for me to catch what they were saying. I feel smart and capable. AND, I don't have the overwhelming urge to come right home from work and nap! :) YAY! I can see the benefits already, and I'm told they just get better and better as time goes on. I am PRO-CPAP! It was worth the several weeks of getting used to. Yes, I even took it with us to California....they tell you to make sure you even use it for naps!

Ryan and I had the opportunity to go to San Diego, CA two weekends ago for a friends wedding in the San Diego Temple. I lucked out cause my recommend expires at the end of this month, and I had forgotten to check the expiration date! I would have felt so bad if I had missed it. It was a beautiful wedding, and a true testament of change and the happiness that can enter our lives.

Couple other incidents while we were out in Cali....the first is we almost ran out of gas on the way to San Diego. YES. Pam's WORST FEAR actually almost came true! And guess who was driving???? ME! I screwed up. Normally, on the straight drive to LA using the I-10 we can get there on one tank of gas. However, the drive to San Diego is different with more mountains to go through, using up more gas. Stupid Pam misjudged it, and as we were getting to the end of the drive, the tank was getting lower and lower. We had to stop a few times in the mountain for Border Patrol check points, and after the last check point, the gas light came on. OH CRAP! Sitting in the middle of the mountains, without civilization around. We came up to an Indian Casino, but all I saw was the casino! Ryan made a short mention of "Maybe we can get gas at the casino?" I guess as his cue to me to get off....but I looked over and just saw the casino, so I kept going. We kept driving, and I could tell Ryan was getting really nervous as he would keep making comments about "hopefully we can get somewhere without running out", etc. This just bugged me cause talking out loud about it wasn't going to solve the situation! So I would turn up the radio as my cue to him to be quiet, and told him that "I'm saying a prayer", and I meant that quite literally. I had no other option at that point other than to pray that we would get to a gas station in time, leaving it in Heavenly Fathers hands as I coasted down the mountains, trying not to use as much gas as possible. And my other option would be to deal with the running out of gas situation when and if it actually happened. It wasn't going to do me any good if I sat there and worried about it. I figured if worse came to worse, we would use one of those emergency call boxes to get help, or call 911. We weren't THAT far outside the city that someone couldn't get us help within a reasonable time, and there was plenty of traffic. Of course, I rather NOT have that situation :) I kept praying and praying, and pleading and pleading. And low and behold, a gas station appeared up a hill ahead. Ryan had gotten a little upset at me, but mostly out of fear cause he said he didn't know what he was supposed to do if we ran out of gas...so that fear put him in a defensive mode :) But he later apologized as we were back on the road with a full tank of gas (we had .2 gallons left...we were almost on fumes!), and I let him drive the rest of the way so I could have a good cry and get out my fear and anxiety from the situation! I hope that never happens again. We got gas in Yuma on the way home :)

The other thing was we went to Scripps Aquarium. It was much smaller than I remember. It was interesting to see, but I have to admit that I like the Long Beach Aquarium better....it has WAY more things to see. The weather in California is COOOLLLL. Ryan would say it was cold :) He froze the whole time we were there! The weather in Rexburg has already cooled WAAYYY down, so we are in for quite the shocking surprise when we move :)

We also went to see the movie "Express" at the theater in Cali. It's the football movie based on a true story about the first black man to get the Heisman Trophy. It was a really good movie. Highly recommended. We enjoyed it....

Lately I've become addicted to watching CSI over and over on DVD. LOVE it. I watched several episodes on our laptop to and from California in the car :) The other thing we have been watching lately (and probably will be for some time, considering how many episodes and seasons there are) is Stargate SG-1. Ryan has all of the episodes, and LOVES that show. After a lot of pleading, I finally gave in and watched some with him (I always avoided it cause I assumed it was like Star Trek). I actually like it! They have sarcasm and humor in it that I like, and the story lines are pretty good.

The other thing I'm addicted to is reading the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. It's that series about vampires written by an LDS lady. I'm on the third book, and I'm making Ryan go see the movie with me when it comes out next month :) I can't decide who I like more...Edward or Jacob. I have a feeling there are a lot more twists and turns to come as I keep reading :)