Hermits Suck (Ryan Blog Excerpt)

**Note--Ryan's mom had moved to California from Prescott, AZ while Ryan was away on his mission...so he came home to a new state with no friends. And with being stuck in doors after his back surgery, he was going nuts!!** PAM

Thursday, June 28, 2007

I really miss all my friends. I never thought that being all by myself could be so lonely.

I mean, I grew up by myself. I should be used to this. All my life I have been able to keep myself entertained. I like to draw and paint. I used to build worlds out of legos. I've built an entire squadron of WWII model airplanes in my lifetime. Not to mention, being alone, I've played a lot of video games.

Don't get me wrong, I've always enjoyed being with my friends more than anything. As a kid I remember going around the neighborhood asking, "Can so-and-so come out to play?" But I never really got down if the answer was no. I would just go home and play in the dirt. There was always a hole that needed to be dug and covered with weeds in the hope that I could catch that pesky neighbor girl. I guess what I am trying to say is, all my life, I never minded being alone.

When I first got into the mission field, you can imagine that it was quite an adjustment for me. Going from having no one around to having someone by my side 24/7. It was an adjustment to say the least. But as time went on, I really valued having someone around. There was always someone to talk to, someone to ask for advice, someone to play pranks with. Having a companion at all times was most likely one of the most difficult yet, most rewarding things of my mission. It really gave me the opportunity to learn that everyone has value. I learned that other people have hopes and dreams like me, and also fears and shortcomings like me.

I am still learning how to be a social butterfly--unfortunately, Barnes & Noble doesn't carry "How to be Cool: for Dummies" anymore. I am still deathly afraid of crowds, I just hide it better now. Two years didn't take away my awkwardness, but it certainly helped me realize that everyone experiences it to some degree. Which helps me out tremendously, seeing as how I feel like I am the only person in the world who......nevermind, I might be...

Now that I am back home, I value the company of others immensely. My time here in California is interminable! There is nothing worse than being stuck here with Ryan day after day...He's driving me NUTS! I want to go hang out with someone else for a change. I appreciate all my friends very, very much! Thanks for dropping a letter here and there. Thanks for all the text messages, phone calls, and comments! Especially Pam and Kyle! You're both awesome!

Having such good friends reminds me of a line from Red Green: "Remember, we're all in this together, and I'm pullin' for ya".