Tom and Me (Ryan Blog Excerpt)

(Posted by Ryan on Myspace)

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

I remember this one time when Tom and me were in college, we were taking a Shakespeare class together. I don't remember much of the class, but I do remember the day Tom tried too hard.

On the first day of class Ms. Fisher put us into groups. My group consisted of Tom, Ashley, Shane, and myself. Poor Ashley, all alone in a group of nerds. Ms. Fisher might as well have thrown her to the wolves. Shane started giggling to himself while a little dribble of drool slid out of his mouth. Tom just stared but you could see the wheels turning in his head. And me? Well, I am always too nervous to do anything smooth. I just stared at her cool knee-high boots and asked her what her favorite toothpaste was. It was Crest.

We all took an instant liking to Ashley, especially Tom. Everyday, he would talk about how smart she was, Ashley this, Ashley that. You couldn't shut him up! As the semester went on and we worked together on projects in our little group, we all got to know each other pretty well. Tom was constantly making mental notes of all of Ashley's likes and dislikes. She was quite the character, Tom's dream girl. Vampires, Linkin Park, poetry, and plays were among Ashley's most favoritest things.

That Christmas, Ashley was in a production of "A Christmas Carol". Tom saw his chance to impress this gothic angel. On opening night, Tom stood second in line. He colored his hair red (to match Chester Bennington) and wore a shirt that said, "Vampires Suck" which was 3 sizes too small. I was first in line! I had gone out and bought a pink sweater for the occasion. And seeing as how pink sweaters are hard to come by, I had to buy a women's sweater. It even had a zipper down the back. I thought it was quite lovely.

I didn't know what Tom was up to that night. If I had, I never would have gone. After the play, Tom jumped onto the stage (you can do that sort of thing in Prescott) and asked for everyone's attention. He proceeded to scream out a vampiric rendition of "I got you babe" by Sonny and Cher. I recall that he changed the chorus line to, "I'll bite you babe" to really impress her with his creative use of vampires. He thought it was romantic. She wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

I don't think that Tom has ever tried so hard to impress a girl since.