My Computer Thinks I'm Gay (Ryan Blog Excerpt)

**NOTE--Ryan Blog Excerpt

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

So I log into to myspace to do my usual thing (post a random blog reflecting the ordinary events of my life) and I am greeted by an advertisement. All of you are familiar with this. Myspace bombards all of it's users with advertisements. How else is my friend Tom going to pay for his roller coaster addiction? However, the advertisement on this particular occasion freaked me out! It had a picture of a guy who looked like Tyson Ritter with his shirt off and he was holding a pink surf board. The caption in the advertisement read, "Wanna Hook A Hottie?"

Seriously folks, who wants to "hook a hottie", and what makes Myspace think that I want to hook some femme surfer boy! HONESTLY! Have they no shame! Where has the world of advertising gone?

I long for the good ol' days of watching Terry Tate punish office workers for thier lack of productivity. The subtle punchlines involving an old lady yelling, "Where's the beef?!" at a Wendy's knockoff. I want to see the 3 Nextel guys dancing in thier office. How I cry when I think of Fedex and thier silly Shatner impersonations. *sniff* I miss them so. And where have all the real men of genius gone? It seems to me that all our heros are dying out. It won't be long before the Pilsbury Doughboy is thrown into an oven and turned into cupcakes! ....*uncontrollable sobbing ensues*

I want memorable, entertaining, and smart ads back! I'm lovin' it Mcdonald's, and yes, beef is what's for dinner USDA cattle ranchers! I do got milk and the power of cheese dairy farmers of America! Yes, I can hear you now creepy Verizon Guy! And I can save 15% or more on car insurance by switching to Geico! But do the advertising execs hear me? Have they stopped thinking outside the bun? Clearly, the answer is yes because if they could, I wouldn't see ads asking me if I'm a flirt!

.......Hmmm... am I a flirt? What constitutes a flirt, and how does one know whether or not he/she is a flirt? That might be good to know .....

AHHHHHH! NO! Give me the Travelocity Gnome or give me DEATH!